This bumper-sticker is unique in that it’s made from 100% wood. Very green indeed. It is also made using a very cunning printing method that I, myself, have pioneered.

What you need:

• a laser printer
• printer paper
• a bumper-sticker sized scrap of veneer
• white spirits
• an iron
• 220 grit sandpaper
• thin double-sided tape

The most tricky-to-get items here will be white spirits, but you could use mineral turpentine, and the veneer. Veneer is just very thinly sliced wood, used for table-tops and other furniture. Have a look in the Yellow Pages for veneer manufacturers and cabinet makers. Most will be more than willing to give you some scraps for free.

First you need to create your bumper-sticker. I’m going for the: “My Other Car’s a…” theme. But you can use anything suitably “green”.

1. Type the wording of your sticker out back-to-front. Print the wording out on the plain paper using a laser printer. Note: as you are going to transfer your design from the paper to the veneer, you’ll have to put whatever writing you use back-to-front, so it will show up the right way on the wood.
2. Prepare the veneer by sanding it
   smooth using the 220 grit sandpaper.
3. Now here comes the clever bit. Put
   some white spirits in a container and soak your design in it for about 5 minutes. The spirits is a solvent and will soften, but not dissolve the toner on the paper. Carefully take your design out , using tweezers, and lay it on a piece of paper to absorb the excess white spirits.
4. Carefully position the design, face down, on the veneer and press down with a heated iron (set the ­temperature to maximum). Move the iron over the design, using quite a lot of pressure and being careful not to move the design on the veneer.
5. If all goes well your design will be transferred onto the veneer and you can stick it onto your car’s bumper using very thin double-sided tape. Do not despair if you fail on the first try. I did, many times, before I got one I really liked.